Forget the Cytokines, It's Time to Talk About Sex!

Do you know all there is to know about sex and intimacy? Take this little quiz and let's see how you do:

TRUE OR FALSE

1. Sex is fun

2. Sex solidifies the bonds between two people

3. You should NOT watch porn

4. Kegels are important for men and women

5. Those who kiss their spouse each morning miss less work

6. In a 1980 study from Wales, men who had sex at least 2x per week had ½ as many heart attacks after 10 years as men who had sex less than once per month

7. People who have sex often look younger

8. Sex increases blood flow to the heart and other organs

9. Sexual dysfunction is often the first manifestation of physical illness

10. Erectile dysfunction is common in ankylosing spondylitis, back pain and smoking

All of the above statements are true. If you answered "false" to any of them – keep reading! You do not know as much about sex as you thought you did. Iris Zink, a Nurse Practitioner, delivered a great presentation at the ACR on Monday about sex and intimacy in chronic disease.

When we trained to work with patients, we were always told to look at the whole patient. That means looking not only at their health but their spiritual, psychological, social, physical and sexual well-being. Being sexual helps a person feel normal and not "sick." Many of our patients are not having sex but we do not know because we are not asking them. Lack of sexual intimacy or issues with sex have been reported in 62% of patients with RA, 50% with AS, and 71% with FMS.

Sex is a human need and fulfills a variety of needs unrelated to reproduction. It does not have to be sexual intercourse that we are talking about but humans need intimacy. It helps to keep relationships stable and people feeling "normal." Many of our patients are not having sex because of their disease. We do not need to be "sex experts" to ask our patients about sex. When you are asking about dry eyes, dry mouth – you can also ask about a dry vagina.

Our two largest sexual organs are the brain (90% of sex is in the mind) and the skin. Most men can become aroused quickly. Women need more time (at least 3-30 minutes) so foreplay is a must. Also, women need to be thinking about sex before it happens. So listen up men... if you want your spouse to be aroused you cannot start complimenting her 2 minutes before you want to have sex and expect her to be ready! Reading a book, a romantic dinner, or a movie can help put her in the mood.

Stress is also important. While sex is a stress reliever for men, women need to be relieved of stress before they can enjoy sex. If you know your spouse still has to pack lunches and empty the dishwasher, help her out so she can relax.

Medications can disrupt chemicals in the brain that affect arousal. Disease-related fatigue and lack of energy can also be a factor. For someone who is fatigued or tired, it is best not to watch TV in the bedroom. That half hour of TV could have been spent being intimate.

Some patients may need help with sensation. Vibrators or other tools can help. "Pure Romance" is a pH balanced lubricant that does not burn that we can recommend to our patients.

Although tools can be fun, Iris did not recommend porn. She says it gives women and men unrealistic expectations and causes men to look at women in "parts" (i.e. a vagina or boobs), instead of loving them as a person. She recommended a book by Mark Gungor, a Christian Pastor, motivational speaker and comedian, called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage: Unlocking the Secrets to Life, Love and Marriage."

Share This Report

About the Author

Trending Reports From ACR 2016